The documenting of feeling

indestructible

2008-01-11T10:10:48Z

Hi it has been a ok week but I don't feel to good family always make you feel like crap and that you are no good . I guess that I why I like people away from that not people who only like you when you do well . It was good to be back at college this week and to see everyone again it is nice to be with people who understand me . I really did not feel good last night but as they said on the Riches " You have to keep going because you could wake up tomorrow and feel a little bit better " and I do feel a bit better today I hope it will last but I am sure that it will not if people can have there way . It was nice to have a cup of tea with Emma from college yesterday it was good to see someone outside of college . It is so wet outside all you can see is water and I feel very cold . Here is to the weekend and a new hair cut

Count to ten

2008-01-07T17:12:52Z

Hi I don't want to live my live with half a heart I want to feel whatever I love and not worry about what other people may think about it . I just feel like I could be so much more . I would love to be a song a day I would love to have a top to say what song I was a take words from the song today I would be Enemies friends by hope of the states and the line would be " Come on people keep yr friends close yr enemies wont matter in the end " . I would love to do something with my heart something I feel good about . I think I am better with people they make me happy . Someone on the train the other day said to her friend please don't hurt my feelings . I think we forget how easy it is to do that a hurt feeling can hurt for years it is like a cut you can not stop bleeding . I hope that I understand what I want to do soon I guess this is my life all I have to do is live it

The hollow of morning

2007-12-29T10:40:57Z

Hi I am doing well I have had a nice few days and I am feeling farly good . I wanted to talk about beauty and what a gift it is . I love the music of Sol Seppy it is as if her mind and her heart are the same I live in her warth . Beauty is a bird that is free to sing a person who cares more about other then they do about themselve and it is a men who is free to be his self . Beauty give you something to wake up for . Beauty is being with people that make you better then you are . Beauty is seeing the good there is even when things look there worse because the must beautiful thing there is in the would is a person who lives life with all there heart without having fear of what that could being there . Beauty is looking at the person with love and seeing love in there eyes and knowing they would do anything for you and that your love for them has layer after layer with only gets better with time . Beauty is a gift from god . I read some lovely books yesterday one was 26 steps to heaven by J John it said " If you know anyone who is lonely go and be with because they really need it " . That is so true I know what it is to alone . I hope that everyone is doing well and that they try to see all the beauty around them .

" He who fears he shall suffer already suffers what he fears "

It's a wonderful lie

2007-12-27T10:44:57Z

Hi I hope that everyone had a lovely xmas and get just what they wanted . I get lots of nice things and had a nice dinner and we want down to the sea yesterday and that was nice we have done that for years . I like to see the shops after xmas and the people all seem happy . Everyone seems to want to do new things in 2008 new job new home but I am not saw how must of that will really happen it is easy to set out goal but hard to make them come true . I was very happy other day I get to talk to Lisa-Marie on the phone the other day and she is just lovely everything that I had hoped her voice is as sweet as sugar . We talked about music and that made me very happy I hope that we will talk again . I am not up to much for the next few days I have get The Riches on video I really love that show how far could you take a lie for a better life ? I hope that it is going to be a happy new year fall of love joy hope and happiness and if you have a bad day remember there is always tomorrow

Love made visible

2007-12-18T15:26:43Z

Hi . Life is ok even if I do feel a bit lonely and feel a bit funny I wish that I could see more people . people make me feel good and happy I believe in them and all the good they have in them . I think I where me heart to must on my sleeve it is hard not to get upset or to feel lost " If I find my way how must will I find " . I have get a very nice bit on my facebook page where friends can define you and I have get so many nice world on there . Someone ones asked me " why don't you feel about yourself " but I think over time and with a lot of hard work I can say I do like how I am and I do feel good about myself I feel good inside . I can not believe that there are just 7 days till xmas it just does not feel like it . I guess that is what happens when you get older . I am hoping to talk to Emma from College later it is always nice to hear from her . I am missing everyone there I hope that they are all well .

" The idea with music is if you fail , you fail grandly "

This Joy

2007-12-13T09:40:16Z

Hi a week can be a very long time . I was the last day of college you the year yesterday so we all want out and get some food after for had done and that was very nice . I have not been out with friend for a long time so that was very nice . After that some of us when on for a drink but I was worrying about Marjorie and the time and how must drink some people where having . When did I turn in to a 50 years old men . I wish that I could be a bit more care free sometimes . It was very nice to have some time with everyone and to get to find out a bit more about them and why some people drink . Are we unhappy because we drink or do we drink because we are unhappy ? I think the last one . I can not believe that I did 12 weeks at college and come out the other side a better men . I can not wait to see everyone next year . I hope that they will all have a great new year . Other wise things are going fine with me . I think we may be going shopping this week and I do need to get a few things . I am happy for xmas I am going to see Stephanie Dosen I really love her album her music makes me very happy . I get to talk to James the other day he seem ok and very busy . Life at home is going ok I hope that it will stay that way .

" move into the light love

see how it pulls you in like a dream

fall into my arms now

oh how i pull you in like a dream

and you disappear like a flame against the sun

we are two and we are one

and its alright if you’re stuck in yourself

somehow the light finds its own way out "

I think that I will go back to sleep

2007-12-01T15:42:09Z

Hi it has been a ok few days I have not be up to very must . We are all going out tomorrow so that should be nices . Marjorie and me are going to see a movie and get something to eat . I have not been feeling myself and I am not sure why . I wish that I could be more sure of myself . I just don't know what to think or who to trust . And I feel like the world does not understand me . Or maybe I just have to get better that living my life . And I have stoped saying how I feel . I was going to see my sister Emma the other day and could not make it so I think she is upset with me . I am sad that I could not see her I really wanted to but I just could not . I wanted a long time to say anything because I don't like to upset anyone . I hope that she knows that I am sorry . College is still going well and Emma if you are reading this say hi I hope you had a good time out lastnight . I hope everyone is well

" Music does bring people together. It allows us to experience the same emotions. People everywhere are the same in heart and spirit" .

This what you do to me

2007-11-27T16:03:52Z

Hi it is a really grey day today but I happy feeling good about life . It makes me really hope to talk to people and to find out about them . It is amazing how you can get people to open up by just being friendly . I think many people are so busy they never take time to stop and just have a talk and find out how other people are doing . You can find out so must if you just take the time to ask . I had a very nice talk with someone in a coffee shop yesterday and it made me feel really good for the rest of the day . I had a nice talk with Emma from College today it feels so nice to have some friends . She is really easy to get on with and always makes me feel happy. I feel so must better if I can talk about things . Sometimes I really feel like I am going to bust out of my skin and that there are just to must going on in my brain . I think when I talk to someone it is a way to get away from that and all my over thinking . It really was beautiful out yesterday all the little gold lights looked like stars it really could have been a picture . I hope that everyone is doing well I have not talked to James for a few weeks now .

November

2007-11-23T15:09:39Z

Hi things are going well . It looks like I could have get a job so that is good news . I am feeling good about it and I really hope that it will go . I know that I will do my very best to make it work . I am happy that things have get better . Because they where very bad for a few weeks but what does not kill you makes you stronger . I still find that I am a bit on eage and that I feel like I am worrying a lot but I am getting a lot better at dealing with things . I really feel like I have come a long way in a few years . My cold have get a lot better and I hope that it will stay away . I feel very good about things today I think it is going to be a good weekend . I hope that we get some snow soon I really do like to see it . I have fell in with a new song by Gemma Hayes it really is lovely . James if you read this maybe I can give you a ring over the weekend ?

" Candy, pure as driven snow
come to me, you are not alone
oh candy, you're everything to me
you and I will always be free

don't you know its alright to be alone
you can make it on your own "

Who will hold us when we cry ?

2007-11-22T14:45:59Z

Hi I think that I may just be thought to the other side and that the storm is giving away . I think that sometimes we get so raped up in other people we forget to live are self . We so badly want to make life better for the people we love that when we can't it is to must to take . Life puts us thought so must sometimes all we can do is hold back the tears . I was on the bus today and we want past where Marjorie hurt her leg and it was like I could feel it as if it had just happen to see someone you love in that must plain is very hard to take just thinking about it now is hard to do . I had a nice day yesterday at college sometimes I find it really hard to think that I am really there and that I can do it . I have been playing music a lot lately it is such a life line to me that sometimes I am last without it . I guess I lot of people don't understand when I talk about that . To me it is the must amazing peace there is and the thing that moves me more then anything I guess it is a love that asks nothing of me a friend to cry with me a friend that tells me that this time will past and that you are not alone and you are ok just as you are a friend that has made me what I am today . I feel better to have said how I feel and that the fear I have had for the last few days have gone . I hope that James is well he means a lot to me and I would be sad to lose him sometimes we hit out at the people we need the must and I am sorry if I have done that . And with the football here is to he world cup in 2010 that is if we get there .

" Tear in my side, I feel it all
Tear in my side, I feel it all
What it's like to be alive and then shot down
Tear in my side, I feel it all
Tear in my side, I feel it all
I feel it, I feel it, all
I feel it, I feel it, all
I feel it, I feel it, all
I feel it, I feel it, all
I feel it, I feel it, all
I feel it, I feel it, all
Tear in my side, I feel it all
Tear in my side, I feel it all
Tear in my side, I feel it all
Tear in my side "

Happiness

2007-11-17T09:01:17Z

Hi I really feel like I should just stop caring about anyone and I think that I will it is just to must hard work people don't care so why on earth should I . I think thing will be better that way . I try to be as nice as I can be and it gets me know where so to hell with it . I don't know why family take you on if they don't want you . I am alone in the world and I am happy with that all I need is a bit of money and music and I will be happy . I know that people like me for who I am and that is all that matter. I am going to put myself first and I don't care how does not like that . I really don't care if no one end up likeing me we come in to this world alone and go out alone . I am saw that no one will call me because no one ever does . In a few years I will have get out of this because this is not a way to live worrying all the time it will make me ill all I care about is getting college done and getting out of here . " We all need something to get us though this " " I want to be on my own " " What am I saying I am on my own "

All I want is you

2007-11-16T16:28:48Z

Hi it has been a ok week even if I can not get hold of anyone from college . I think that they are all very busy but it does upset me that I can not talk to any of them and even if I could I am not saw what I would say . My cold is getting better and I am feeling less sleepy . I have been feeling a bit funny the last few days not really knowing what I want to do my mind is all over the place . I feel like there is so must I want to say but nothing comes out . I wish that I had more people to talk to I wish that I could see the would thought there eyes. Things with Marjorie are going well I hope how must I love her she is the sweeties thing in the would and I hope that she stays that way for ever . I hope to go to see the movie Elizabeth soon it look very good it is my favorite line from it " We mortals have many weaknesses; we feel too much, hurt too much or too soon we die, but we do have the chance of love " . I think that I am going to try and face my fears and try to get over them I really think we could have things so must better then we do . Here is to the weekend may it find you well .

" oh gabriel i wish that i
could pick you up and fold you like a ribbon
i'd hold you always and in secret
in the pockets of my clothes

but this is how i live my life
with all the parts that i was given
this is the heart that i was given
and what you're given can't be sold

i see my future in an evening dress
all wrapped in tapestry and fur i guess
remember the way you knew me best

i know my fate i do not mean to fight
but you tread softly on the ground tonight
tread softly on the words you used to write "

Lonely hearts still beat the same

2007-11-12T11:16:55Z

Hi a new week and I have still get my awful cold and feel like sleeping all the time . I did not get up to must this weekend just the tv and sleep . I did have a interesting talk with James I am not saw he think that must of counselling he seemed to think that people could be better if they just get on with things . I am not saw about that a lot of the time all people need is someone to talk to or something to take there mind off life not having to keep there feelings locked in .
I am feeling farly good I know what is in my heart and no one can talk that away from me . I can no longer be what the would wants me to be . All I want is to live my life the best I can . Things at home are going ok and I think they will stay that way as long as I don't show any feelings or say a word but I am very happy to keep my head down I think things work better here that way . I can not wait to go to college I really feel that is where I come alive . I just wish that I could keep that with me all the time . The song I am in love with is Gabriel by Emmy the Great it is just the sweeties song . I hope that it is going to be a good week .

" Save my soul
Save some for you
Save your soul
I feel like I'm falling
I feel like I'm falling
And there's a concrete sky
Falling from the trees again
And you know now why
It's not coming 'round too soon
It's harder than a heartbreak too
It's tough enough what love will do
And you're as precious as mine "

Not a day to soon

2007-11-09T15:21:26Z

Hi it has been a good week and a busy one to . College want really well even if I did find some of it a bit hard and some of it was a bit upsetting, but everyone keep telling how well I am doing . I was very happy to get a message from Susan Buice a few day ago she is it art and movie making it is really good to hear from someone who is doing what they really want with there life . It really does make me want to posh myself more and it makes me happy to know that you don't need a 9 till 5 to have a good life what matter is making the best of what you have . I have get a really awful cold that I have had for about a week now I hope that it will go soon . I was happy that I had a good talk with James last weekend and it would be really good to hear from him this weekend to by the way I am sorry Man U did not win . I am hoping to see Emma soon that should be really nice it has been a very long time and I think we will have a lot to talk about . It is very nice where she lives .

I really love there lines from Garden state
" what I want more then anything in the world, is for it to be OK with you for me to feel something again, even if it's pain "
" This is my life, Dad, this is it. I spent 26 years waiting for something else to start, so, no, I don't think it's too much to take on, because it's everything there is. I see now it's all of it. You and I are gonna be OK, you know that, right? We may not be as happy as you always dreamed we would be, but for the first time let's just allow ourselves to be whatever it is we are and that will be better. OK? I think that will be better. "

Heroes

2007-11-05T09:04:35Z

Hi things are going ok . I had a lovely day yesterday with Marjorie it was so nice to have a day with just the two of us . I hope that I will not miss her to must this week . I am going to be busy so it should not be to bad . The rest of my family did not have such a good Saturday there was a big fright in the morning . I was happy to just stat in my room as it was all going on I really don't want to get in to all that . It pulls you down and makes you just want to say in bed a not face the would . But I have not get time for that I have get a life to live . I am happy that there are just two days till I am back at collage I really hope that it will keep going so well there . Even if sometimes I find it hard and worry about what the people there real think of me . All I really want to do is live my life the best I can . I think that I am far more lucky in my life then I have been for years I have get people in it that really do care about me and that are there for me it is good to have people to talk to about life and how it is going . I have been washing a tv show called the Riches and really liking it . It is a about a family changing how they are and finding that nothing really does change who they where will never going away and how some of them miss there old life " Life in the suv was easier " . My favorite in the show has to be Minnie Driver she makes my heart very happy . I am hoping to meet up with Emma soon and I really hope that I do I think it can be a new start for both for us I am seeing that we are a lot more alike then I could ever see before I really do like talking to she and I hope that she feels the same .

" Life is hard life is crap and it tears away at us "

Ones in a life time

2007-10-26T16:35:21Z

Hi it has been a ok week . I had a nice day in Tunbridge wells yesterday and had a look at some good books . There where some very interesting thing in one about how about of us give 100% to life and really try to be everything we could be and try to not sleep work thought life like it is so easy to do . I have missed collage this week and can not wait to get back . I just wish that I could do more then one day a week . I have get the changes to do some work on sunday . I am a bit worried about that I am not saw how it will go . I really hope that I can do something in counselling soon I don't think that I have ever wanted to do anything more . If I did get in to counselling I would put a lot on music I think there can be no more true friend that is there at your best and worst times . I had a nice talk with lisa-marie today it made me feel a lot better about thing thank you . My mum and dad are have a bad time my sister Mim . I don't think they really want anyone to change . I don't think we know how hard that can be on people when we make a big change in are life . They may feel like they are losing you or that they will not be wanted any more . I hope that everyone is doing well .

" And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful
wife and you may ask yourself-Well...How did I get here?

losing you

2007-10-23T16:09:53Z

Hi I don't think that this will be the best week . I don't have any college this week so I am missing that and everyone there that I talk with . Marjorie is working this week so I don't really have anyone to talk too . So I am feeling and bit alone and I don't know what I want to do . I like to go to the train station everyday and see all of the people and think what will they all be doing and where they will be going . All the people there always look so interesting to me . In a way I wish that I had that but I am not very saw I know what that is . I love the name of the new Sia album some people have real problem's . It just seems so true to me and I do sometimes think just how easy my life is and how little I have to do . I wish someone would give me a ring this week . I do the something I get lonely to .

" there’s brighter days ahead
I’ve seen them on tv
Word is there’s something big
Hidden up their sleeve

So maybe it gets quiet
And maybe it gets numb
At least then there’s still something
To share with someone

Follow the leader "

Speak for yourself

2007-10-18T09:05:09Z

Hi it has been interesting week . It has been very nice having more people to talk to even if that did cores a bit of a fight the other day but thing do seem better now . I was thinking should you get fed up if someone says that they will call then they do not I think you should you put your hall night on hold your that time then you don't get anything I think that people should take the time to say sorry I am to busy to talk tonight not do nothing and make you run after them . I have really missed Marjorie this week it is so good to have someone there for you . I think I should say thank you more to her you everything she does for me and all the love she gives me I really do know how lucky I am to have her in my life . College is still going really well someone told me the other day they wanted to work with me because I am really good at the work . It was very nice to know that and to feel like I can do anything on the way home from college like there is a light poshing my along . I think that I will put Amelie on it always makes me happy to see it . I am happy that it is going to be sunny for the next few days .

" Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart "

Sometimes to see where we are going we have to see how far we have come

2007-10-12T11:37:12Z

Hi it feels like a really winter day today . I do really like this time of year and how still it can be . I have to do something really good for college this week I have to write a little to me when I was a kid . When I think about all that I have done I can see how far that I have come from that time and just how much I have done and how must of it I thought that I never would . I feel like I have made a life for myself and I feel like I have done that without any goals from my mum and dad . I have find someone that loves me just the way I am and lets me be that person and for that I will always by thankful to Marjorie and be happy with everyday that I have with her I love her so must and everything she brings to my life. I think with Sister I would say it will not always be a good or nice road but that we will you come thought to the other side all getting on better then we ever have before no matter how hard that maybe for mum to take.
I want to say thank you to James for listing and caring about me and always being there for me when I needed a friend to talk to about my hopes and dreams no matter how far away they where and how out of reach they seemed at the time . I think that is what a true friend is and you can never have to many of them . And over the years I have find my music what I could call the love of my life . I really don't think I would be the men I am today without it . It has give me more then I could have ever have wished for even if I sometimes have a overwhelming fear and sadness of losing it . It is like that song says " You are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when sky's are grey your never know dear how must I love you please don't take my sunshine away .
I have get to meet so many amazing people over the year I will never forget meeting The Research and thinking that Russell was everything that I wanted to be . I am so happy that I am still friend with all of them and hope that we can stay that way . I have find so many people that are into art and making the world a more beautiful place . I can't think of many better goals then that in life . When I look back a could not have asked for much more then that out of life . I can look at myself and say I really like who I am and where my life is at . I really hope that one day everyone can say that .

" When you where a little boy you used to go to the end of your text book because you said that in a few weeks time you would know how to do it " Now I thought it would be nice for you to look back at an old one to see how far you have come "

There is a light that never goes out

2007-10-11T16:15:17Z

Hi things are going ok . I am still having a really good time at college and can not wait for this week . It really does feel good to have so friends out there . I had a talk with my mum about listening and how I feel that she never does it and does not care what I am saying . She does it to all of us if she is on the phone she will be doing ten things and listening not being one of them for one thing that is very rude . I get a really good book the other day it is about makeng changes in your life . I have been doing that lately and it is amazing what happens when you do . If you are open and nice to people they are nice to you and they really do care about you we are more alike then we think but as I keep telling myself there is no one like me we all have something that makes us stand out . Things with Marjorie are still going well she has get a job and is doing really well there . I am not up to very must next week I don't know if anyone wants to meet up for a cup of tea . But really I just hope that I can keep feeling good in my own skin becase really that is all that I have ever wanted from life .

" Girlfriend in a coma, I know
I know - its serious
My, my, my, my, my, my baby, goodbye

There were times when I could
Have strangled her
(but you know, I would hate
Anything to happen to her)
Would you please
Let me see her !

Do you really think
Shell pull through ?
Do you really think
Shell pull through ?
Do ...
Let me whisper my last goodbyes

I know - its serious "

Today will be better I swear

2007-10-05T13:07:02Z

Hi it has been a good week and I have been told lots of nice things and the course is going really well . I just wish that it could be more then just one day a week and that the rest of the week did not take so long . Things are going very well with me and Marjorie we are getting on very well lately . It will be very sad when she goes home next week for a few day I am going to really miss her . I had a nice talk with Emma the other day it is must nicer for it to feel like you are talking with a friend . I really hope that it can stay that way . It is really nice to feel good about things . The other day someone said if you could pick anytime in your life what time would you go to ? and I think I would say just where I am now and it feels so good to say that and mean it . I think I will give James a ring this weekend we have not talked for a few weeks and I hope that he is doing well . I wanted to put this bit I heard on a tv show " It sounds to me like you are trying to buy love and really love is all any of us want rich or poor " . I don't know what I am doing this weekend yet I think just staying in . I am still very happy after someone called me intelligent a few days ago I will not forget that for a long time . I hope that everyone is doing well

“We’re all searching for something, and I haven’t found it yet…”

Daysleeper

2007-09-25T16:17:10Z

Hi it has been a really long time. College went really well and I can't wait to go tomorrow. I wanted to say thank you to Emma for wishing me good luck. It was very nice to see that and it did make me feel good. I am very happy to be there and I think they are happy to have me there. I liked Gordon Brown speech the other day. I think everyone should get the best changes in life I really liked this bit " How much talent that could flourish is lost through a poverty of aspiration: wasted not because young talents fail to reach the stars but because they grow up with no stars to reach for? " It did even make me a bit sad to hear that because I know that very well. To try your best and miss is one thing but thinking you should not even try is not good and no one should stand for it. It was really nice to have a long talk with James a few days ago and I know that he must have really loved the game the other day. Marjorie and I have been very busy the last few days.I really do think I am lucky to have her. I don't know what my life would be like without her. I am happy that we both have so much fun together and I hope that it will never stop. I am feeling really good about things lately. The little things don't seem to get me down so much but they still do much more then they should. I guess that I will have to give it time and try to worry about things less.
But right now I am just happy to be facing a new day.

" and so we disconnect, the room grows quiet around us
its called the life effect, will it always surround us?
and so we disconnect, the room grows quiet around us
nothing left to protect, the end has finally found us "

In the waiting line

2007-09-10T10:39:19Z

Hi it has been an ok week . I have been feeling a bit funny and finding it hard to keep my mind on one thing . I miss having someone to talk to about how I feel about things and why I do . I have never said anything about Madeleine but the last few days have been so bad . I really don't know what happen there . Could they really have done it . I guess only time will tell that . But I think we should remember that there is still a little girl missing and people should not stop look for her till we all know more . I really hope things will turn out ok there . " It is never darker before the first light " . I should be going out somewhere tomorrow so that should be good .
I think my worse things is that I find it hard to say how I feel because people can not help you if they do not know . Maybe it will be a bit better next week when I am going out one day a week and I will get to meet people . I really hope that they are going to be nice . Sometimes I wish that I could take pictures I saw this lovely couple the other day it would have been a really lovely photo it was like they reflect each other . But I did read that is what we look for in love . I hope that everyone is doing well it would be nice to hear from some people .

" Ah and I'll shout and I'll scream
But I'd rather not have seen
And i'll hide away for another day

Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe
In what you see

Everyone's saying different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Everyone's taking everything they can
Everything they can "

Easier to lie

2007-08-31T16:42:30Z

Hi it has been an ok week I have not done very much . I saw a really great movie the science Of sleep it is by Michel Gondry and it has got a lovely story . It is hard not to fall in love with Stéphanie she is funny and full of life yet still seems like a very real person . It is a great look at love in and out of dreams I can not wait to get the dvd soon . My mum and dad are back in a few days it has been nice to have a few days without them . But I am not saw if I have made the most of the time . I want to ask if everyone talks to themselves all of the time I have done it for years talking about feeling I am having things I am thinking about it really does never stop . I go over every move I make and every thought I have. It can be really hard work doing that all day. Is it just me that does that ? I was asked where I see myself in 3 years . I really hope that I will be helping people by that time . It was good to talk to James this week . I really hope that he does find someone and that he has good fun looking and you never know they could even be a Man U fan. Spendaholics was good this week I love how they help the people move on with their life " If you can jump out of a plane then you can open your mouth " . It is sad that so many people find it hard to say how they really feel about things I know I do . I was fed up with myself a few days ago for not changing and not having anyone to talk to. When I get in a fight all I did was fall back into my music and a world of my own. I really hope I get better than that at dealing with things . I was really happy to get a phone call from Emma today it was really good to hear from her and to have a nice talk about things. She has got a really good insight to things it is sad to have not got to there more often over the years. I hope that I can from now on . I think that it should be a good weekend.

" But don't you weep (don't you weep for them)
Don't you weep (don't you weep)
There is no one as lucky
Honey, don't you weep (don't you weep for them)
Don't you weep (don't you weep)
There is nothing as lucky, as easy, or free
Or free, or free, or free
There's nothing, there's nothing, there's nothing "

Some people have real problems

2007-08-20T14:28:36Z

Hi I had a good weekend the football was ok Man U where very unlucky and how did Liverpool not win Chelsea get so must more then they should do . I really hope they don't win anything this year . I had a big fright with my sister Mim at the weekend I always feel bad after them I don't like being mean but just sometimes it feels like some people are out to make your life harder then it has to be and I get a bit fed up with that . I should be going to London in the next few days that will be really good I have not been for a really long time and I really love it there . There are so many nice things and so must to see . I tried to give James a ring this weekend but I could not get hold of him I hope that I can do soon . I saw that Lily Allen had a new rant at the V Festival . I do like her I think it is good that someone says how they feel about things . It may not change anything but people should know how it really is . Is this it ? They sing that in a few of my favorite songs I always feel like I want to yell that out . Can this really be it what if there really is nothing more then this ? I have get a bit anger few times lately and it does feel good I think it is must better to let things out then to keep them locked up and not knowing what to do with them . It is the last House this week and I can't wait for that . I hope that they will all stay if they don't I will have to get the dvd . If you have not seen the show you really should do I just love it . I hope it is going to be a good week .