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The documenting of feeling
Recent Entries 
11th-Jan-2008 08:26 am - indestructible
Hi it has been a ok week but I don't feel to good family always make you feel like crap and that you are no good . I guess that I why I like people away from that not people who only like you when you do well . It was good to be back at college this week and to see everyone again it is nice to be with people who understand me . I really did not feel good last night but as they said on the Riches " You have to keep going because you could wake up tomorrow and feel a little bit better " and I do feel a bit better today I hope it will last but I am sure that it will not if people can have there way . It was nice to have a cup of tea with Emma from college yesterday it was good to see someone outside of college . It is so wet outside all you can see is water and I feel very cold . Here is to the weekend and a new hair cut
7th-Jan-2008 04:22 pm - Count to ten
Hi I don't want to live my live with half a heart I want to feel whatever I love and not worry about what other people may think about it . I just feel like I could be so much more . I would love to be a song a day I would love to have a top to say what song I was a take words from the song today I would be Enemies friends by hope of the states and the line would be " Come on people keep yr friends close yr enemies wont matter in the end " . I would love to do something with my heart something I feel good about . I think I am better with people they make me happy . Someone on the train the other day said to her friend please don't hurt my feelings . I think we forget how easy it is to do that a hurt feeling can hurt for years it is like a cut you can not stop bleeding . I hope that I understand what I want to do soon I guess this is my life all I have to do is live it
29th-Dec-2007 09:17 am - The hollow of morning
Hi I am doing well I have had a nice few days and I am feeling farly good . I wanted to talk about beauty and what a gift it is . I love the music of Sol Seppy it is as if her mind and her heart are the same I live in her warth . Beauty is a bird that is free to sing a person who cares more about other then they do about themselve and it is a men who is free to be his self . Beauty give you something to wake up for . Beauty is being with people that make you better then you are . Beauty is seeing the good there is even when things look there worse because the must beautiful thing there is in the would is a person who lives life with all there heart without having fear of what that could being there . Beauty is looking at the person with love and seeing love in there eyes and knowing they would do anything for you and that your love for them has layer after layer with only gets better with time . Beauty is a gift from god . I read some lovely books yesterday one was 26 steps to heaven by J John it said " If you know anyone who is lonely go and be with because they really need it " . That is so true I know what it is to alone . I hope that everyone is doing well and that they try to see all the beauty around them .

" He who fears he shall suffer already suffers what he fears "
27th-Dec-2007 09:07 am - It's a wonderful lie
Hi I hope that everyone had a lovely xmas and get just what they wanted . I get lots of nice things and had a nice dinner and we want down to the sea yesterday and that was nice we have done that for years . I like to see the shops after xmas and the people all seem happy . Everyone seems to want to do new things in 2008 new job new home but I am not saw how must of that will really happen it is easy to set out goal but hard to make them come true . I was very happy other day I get to talk to Lisa-Marie on the phone the other day and she is just lovely everything that I had hoped her voice is as sweet as sugar . We talked about music and that made me very happy I hope that we will talk again . I am not up to much for the next few days I have get The Riches on video I really love that show how far could you take a lie for a better life ? I hope that it is going to be a happy new year fall of love joy hope and happiness and if you have a bad day remember there is always tomorrow
18th-Dec-2007 12:50 pm - Love made visible
Hi . Life is ok even if I do feel a bit lonely and feel a bit funny I wish that I could see more people . people make me feel good and happy I believe in them and all the good they have in them . I think I where me heart to must on my sleeve it is hard not to get upset or to feel lost " If I find my way how must will I find " . I have get a very nice bit on my facebook page where friends can define you and I have get so many nice world on there . Someone ones asked me " why don't you feel about yourself " but I think over time and with a lot of hard work I can say I do like how I am and I do feel good about myself I feel good inside . I can not believe that there are just 7 days till xmas it just does not feel like it . I guess that is what happens when you get older . I am hoping to talk to Emma from College later it is always nice to hear from her . I am missing everyone there I hope that they are all well .

" The idea with music is if you fail , you fail grandly "
13th-Dec-2007 08:45 am - This Joy
Hi a week can be a very long time . I was the last day of college you the year yesterday so we all want out and get some food after for had done and that was very nice . I have not been out with friend for a long time so that was very nice . After that some of us when on for a drink but I was worrying about Marjorie and the time and how must drink some people where having . When did I turn in to a 50 years old men . I wish that I could be a bit more care free sometimes . It was very nice to have some time with everyone and to get to find out a bit more about them and why some people drink . Are we unhappy because we drink or do we drink because we are unhappy ? I think the last one . I can not believe that I did 12 weeks at college and come out the other side a better men . I can not wait to see everyone next year . I hope that they will all have a great new year . Other wise things are going fine with me . I think we may be going shopping this week and I do need to get a few things . I am happy for xmas I am going to see Stephanie Dosen I really love her album her music makes me very happy . I get to talk to James the other day he seem ok and very busy . Life at home is going ok I hope that it will stay that way .

" move into the light love

see how it pulls you in like a dream

fall into my arms now

oh how i pull you in like a dream

and you disappear like a flame against the sun

we are two and we are one

and its alright if you’re stuck in yourself

somehow the light finds its own way out "
1st-Dec-2007 02:41 pm - I think that I will go back to sleep
Hi it has been a ok few days I have not be up to very must . We are all going out tomorrow so that should be nices . Marjorie and me are going to see a movie and get something to eat . I have not been feeling myself and I am not sure why . I wish that I could be more sure of myself . I just don't know what to think or who to trust . And I feel like the world does not understand me . Or maybe I just have to get better that living my life . And I have stoped saying how I feel . I was going to see my sister Emma the other day and could not make it so I think she is upset with me . I am sad that I could not see her I really wanted to but I just could not . I wanted a long time to say anything because I don't like to upset anyone . I hope that she knows that I am sorry . College is still going well and Emma if you are reading this say hi I hope you had a good time out lastnight . I hope everyone is well

" Music does bring people together. It allows us to experience the same emotions. People everywhere are the same in heart and spirit" .
27th-Nov-2007 03:03 pm - This what you do to me
Hi it is a really grey day today but I happy feeling good about life . It makes me really hope to talk to people and to find out about them . It is amazing how you can get people to open up by just being friendly . I think many people are so busy they never take time to stop and just have a talk and find out how other people are doing . You can find out so must if you just take the time to ask . I had a very nice talk with someone in a coffee shop yesterday and it made me feel really good for the rest of the day . I had a nice talk with Emma from College today it feels so nice to have some friends . She is really easy to get on with and always makes me feel happy. I feel so must better if I can talk about things . Sometimes I really feel like I am going to bust out of my skin and that there are just to must going on in my brain . I think when I talk to someone it is a way to get away from that and all my over thinking . It really was beautiful out yesterday all the little gold lights looked like stars it really could have been a picture . I hope that everyone is doing well I have not talked to James for a few weeks now .
23rd-Nov-2007 11:47 am - November
Hi things are going well . It looks like I could have get a job so that is good news . I am feeling good about it and I really hope that it will go . I know that I will do my very best to make it work . I am happy that things have get better . Because they where very bad for a few weeks but what does not kill you makes you stronger . I still find that I am a bit on eage and that I feel like I am worrying a lot but I am getting a lot better at dealing with things . I really feel like I have come a long way in a few years . My cold have get a lot better and I hope that it will stay away . I feel very good about things today I think it is going to be a good weekend . I hope that we get some snow soon I really do like to see it . I have fell in with a new song by Gemma Hayes it really is lovely . James if you read this maybe I can give you a ring over the weekend ?

" Candy, pure as driven snow
come to me, you are not alone
oh candy, you're everything to me
you and I will always be free

don't you know its alright to be alone
you can make it on your own "
22nd-Nov-2007 01:31 pm - Who will hold us when we cry ?
Hi I think that I may just be thought to the other side and that the storm is giving away . I think that sometimes we get so raped up in other people we forget to live are self . We so badly want to make life better for the people we love that when we can't it is to must to take . Life puts us thought so must sometimes all we can do is hold back the tears . I was on the bus today and we want past where Marjorie hurt her leg and it was like I could feel it as if it had just happen to see someone you love in that must plain is very hard to take just thinking about it now is hard to do . I had a nice day yesterday at college sometimes I find it really hard to think that I am really there and that I can do it . I have been playing music a lot lately it is such a life line to me that sometimes I am last without it . I guess I lot of people don't understand when I talk about that . To me it is the must amazing peace there is and the thing that moves me more then anything I guess it is a love that asks nothing of me a friend to cry with me a friend that tells me that this time will past and that you are not alone and you are ok just as you are a friend that has made me what I am today . I feel better to have said how I feel and that the fear I have had for the last few days have gone . I hope that James is well he means a lot to me and I would be sad to lose him sometimes we hit out at the people we need the must and I am sorry if I have done that . And with the football here is to he world cup in 2010 that is if we get there .

" Tear in my side, I feel it all
Tear in my side, I feel it all
What it's like to be alive and then shot down
Tear in my side, I feel it all
Tear in my side, I feel it all
I feel it, I feel it, all
I feel it, I feel it, all
I feel it, I feel it, all
I feel it, I feel it, all
I feel it, I feel it, all
I feel it, I feel it, all
Tear in my side, I feel it all
Tear in my side, I feel it all
Tear in my side, I feel it all
Tear in my side "
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